I don't know why....

I have the sudden feeling things around here are gonna start getting bad as in happyness will be hard to find. Odd thing is I don't know why. Anyway I would like to say how this week was my worst yet. Not only was I sick and had to try to act fine so I could hang with people my body eventually quit. I started feeling like crap and being depressed. Nobody wanted to hang with me, they didn't want to be upset and so everyone just ignored me,pushed me away and some people just were mean to me when I was down. I wish I had the ability to be what people wanted all the time but I'm not a great person. I just hope I'm not a burden to her happyness in anyways like I think I am. I love her so much and thank her for all she's done to make my life worth it all. Worth all the pain,all the confusion,all the troubles, and all the self conflicts she finds a way to make me happy her love is much more powerful than she'll ever know. Honestly when I'm upset I want to be held and to be more specific have her cuddle me and never let me go just feel her warmth and hear/feel how much she loves me.