I need to grow with you guys...

I just realized reading your blog that I'm not in touch with your group. There is so many things only you guys know that I don't becuse of drafts. It makes me feel left out and worthless as a friend that is supposed to be part of the "group". I wish I could get closer to you guys. Anyways I just realized latley life has been sucking a long time. Latley I've felt jealous, insignificant,
ignored, insulted, wothless, sick,and unapreciated. I don't know how to make people like me anymore. I'm always feeling bad and constantly struggling and have no one to fall back on...for fear of them becoming upset. I love so many people but having felt like anyone has felt the same way back in awhile. Taylor I wish I could talk with you more but I'm afraid to, because whenever we argue I'm the only one that gets hurt and I can't help it. I'm always in pain everyday. I wish I had someone to tell everything to but I don't. I always worry about things that probably won't happen but if they did I would be borderline suicidal. I miss being happy and am afraid I won't ever know what it feels like aain. I feel like my usefulness to the world I love is fading. I feel over time I will fade away from you guys like a soul lost adrift. I'm so sad but I hate complaining because it never helps and it causes others to feel bad. I love you Taylor so much, and I love you guys too. I hope I can feel better but knoow I won't.

Guess whose back?

Well it sure is nice to be back on here. Laura you lucky person. I didn't have power until saturday like3:30. It didn't matter though I was at Taylors. I thank the lord cameras have timers. Now I can take sexy pictures of myself for all to see. Anyways I'm looking foward to seeing all my friends that I care about again. Sigh I wish I could be with Taylor right now. Earlier we played dress up with IAn and it was fun. I'll post proog of it on face book. I love you guys. Love you Tay-Tay.